THE FAMILY TOURNAMENT
Do we have to compete? Nah, but we should.
Some people train their whole lives for moments like this. Others will enter by accident, win by luck, and vanish before the award ceremony. The Family Tournament is a multi-event, multi-talented competition spanning the weekend. Win the most, show up the hardest, or bribe the right cousin—whatever it takes. Your glory awaits.
How It Works
Each tournament equals 1 point. If you win, or if your host deems you worthy, you claim the point. (Yes, it’s partially rigged. That’s tradition.) Spirit Points are also in play. Earned—not by winning—but by being… unforgettable. These are awarded by the hosts or judges with zero consistency and total authority. There’s no cap, no fairness, and no appeals process.
Spirit points may be awarded for:
- Most dramatic celebration
- Least dramatic failure
- Best trash talk
- Most unnecessary wardrobe choice
- Bribing the host
- Playing through injury (real or imagined)
- Being wildly off-theme in the best possible way
- Showing up for an event you didn’t know was happening
Tournament Tracking
You don’t have to enter every event—but the more you do, the better your chances. Scorecards may be real or imaginary. Hosts will keep track or pretend to. Final tally and awards will be announced Sunday night at The Last Supper & Awards. You do not have to be present to win—but it helps if you want your photo taken holding a trophy made of duct tape and pasta shells.
Awards Ceremony
On Sunday night, we gather to hand out glory and make some people slightly uncomfortable with applause.
Main Awards
- Tournament Champion – The top point earning team, across all tournaments and spirit categories. This is the big one.
- Spirit of the Games – Given to the person with the most Spirit Points, or the biggest vibe footprint of the weekend.
- Dynamic Duo – To the best team—sibling pair, married couple, secret alliance, or unlikely legends.
- Dark Horse Award – Team who came out of nowhere and crushed it. Or didn’t win anything but made us all nervous.
- MVP (Most Vocal Participant) – Loudest, boldest, or most iconic moment caught on record or in memory.
- Saltiest Competitor – For the most passionate protest, the most visible disappointment, or the most amusing sore loser behavior.
- Crowd Favorite – Unanimous vibes. The people’s champions. The team whose name keeps coming up in stories.